How can we measure love? It is not an exact science and love has so many variables. When Saundra Collins of Psychology introduces the study of love to her students she opens with this poem by Beilby Porteus:

Love is something so divine,
Description would make it less;
'Tis what I feel, but can't define,
'Tis what I know, but can't express,

"Studying love has always presented some difficulty because it does not lend itself to the kind of scientific investigation in typical experiments involving the manipulation of variables and random assignment," said Collins.

Social psychologists first attempted to define love and make distinctions between liking and love or different kinds of love. Collins cited researcher Zick Rubin who, in the early '70s, made a distinction between liking and loving.

"Rubin said liking was a combination of admiration, respect and similarity," Collins explained. "Loving, he said, was a combination of caring, attachment and intimacy. Some behavioral observations suggested that people who are in love spend more time looking at each other more than people who like each other. A distinction has been made between what is defined as 'passionate love' and 'companionate love.' "

Collins explains passionate love as the thrill, physiological and sexual arousal, and wanting to be in the presence of the other. "It's the daydreaming, intense emotion, can't eat, can't sleep, intense absorption with the other--what people feel in the early part of relationships--star gazing." Companionate love, she said, involves feelings we have for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined. One doesn't necessarily feel passion in the presence of the other, which is more characteristic of long-term relationships.

While couples use Valentine's Day as a means to express their romantic feelings, Collins says it's a commercial event that for some brings out love and for others, disappointment. "On Valentine's Day you expect something," said Collins. "People feel obligated. Expectation leads to disappointment and puts pressure on people." Collins suggests that couples celebrate their love for one another on an ordinary day. "Even a small token is nicer when you receive it unexpectedly."

Gifts of chocolate and roses on Valentine's Day may be a measure of passion for some couples, but there are other indicators. Try measuring the passion in your relationship on the Passionate Love Scale adapted from Elaine Hatfield and Susan Sprecher in 1986. Then click here to learn how some couples on campus maintain a romantic relationship between home and the office.

The following items ask you to describe how you feel when you are passionately in love. Think of the person whom you love most passionately right now. If you are not in love right now, think of the last person you loved passionately. If you have never been in love, think of the person whom you came closest to caring for in that way. Choose your answer remembering how you felt at the time when your feelings were the most intense.

For each item, choose the number between one and nine that most accurately describes your feelings.

1 2 3--Not at all true

4 5 6--Moderately true

7 8 9--Definitely true

1. I would feel deep despair if _____ left me.
2. Sometimes I feel I can't control my thoughts; they are obsessively on _____.
3. I feel happy when I am doing something to make _____ happy.
4. I would rather be with _____ than anyone else.
5. I'd get jealous if I thought _____ were falling in love with someone else.
6. I yearn to know all about _____.
7. I want _____--physically, emotionally, mentally.
8. I have an endless appetite for affection from _____.
9. For me, _____ is the perfect romantic partner.
10. I sense my body responding when _____ touches me.
11. _____ always seems to be on my mind.
12. I want _____ to know me--my thoughts, my fears and my hopes.
13. I eagerly look for signs indicating _____'s desire for me.
14. I possess a powerful attraction for _____.
15. I get extremely depressed when things don't go right in my relationship with _____.

Scoring: Add up your scores for the 15 items. The total score can range from a minimum of 15 to a maximum of 135. The higher your score, the more your feelings for the person reflect passionate love; the items to which you gave a particularly high score reflect those components of passionate love that you experience most strongly.