This year's senior speaker, Dua Obeidallah, with her children (from left) Muna, 9; Amin, 11; and Maha, 7.

Dua Elayan Obeidallah is on a quest for courage. She doesn't jump out of planes or ski down mountain peaks at breakneck speed. For Obeidallah--a shy, quiet daughter of Palestinian immigrants--just leaving the house or speaking in class can be intimidating.

Obeidallah's fears may sound mundane to some, but to her they are real and she is conquering them one at a time. That may explain why she accepted the challenge of addressing nearly 15,000 people in the Continental Airlines Arena as senior speaker at this year's commencement ceremony.

"I have been given a great opportunity so there must be a reason for this," said Obeidallah. "I've overcome so many difficult obstacles and completed my requirements for a bachelor's degree, yet this will be harder than my decision in 1998 to go to college. I don't really want to do this. I need to do it."

The linguistics major admitted that she never expected to be chosen, so she didn't see the harm in submitting the application. Even when she made it to the final five Obeidallah still didn't anticipate being selected. But on May 9 she will stand at the podium to deliver her speech, "The Will to Succeed."

Obeidallah thought her application would be overlooked because she had little participation in campus life. Although she lives only three miles from the University, it wasn't apathy that kept Obeidallah from getting involved in extracurricular activities. A 3.8 grade point average is a testament that Obeidallah is devoted to her studies, but that pales in comparison to her commitment to her husband, Bassam, who came to the United States from Bethlehem when he was 18; and to her son Amin, 11; and daughters, Muna, 9; and Maha, 7. She also helps her father run the family embroidery business, volunteers at her community mosque, and worked as a teacher's aide at her children's school.

On a typical weekday Obeidallah gets up for morning prayers at 5 a.m. The Muslim religion requires that she pray five times a day. Next she prepares breakfast for her family and then she heads to campus as her husband takes the children to school. Between classes Obeidallah rushes home to cook dinner, clean the house and get snacks ready for her children. After school she helps them with homework, does the bills and runs errands. She finally gets to her own homework at 8:30 when the children go to bed. That's on a good night. Other nights she doesn't get started until after 10.

"I keep weekends open for the kids," she said. "I don't want them to pay for me going to college, but I do want them to learn that nothing in life comes easy. They see me struggling and I want them to appreciate that."

The oldest of six children, two girls and four boys, Obeidallah moved with her family to North Bergen from Jerusalem when she was five. Her parents spoke no English and moved to a neighborhood with a pocket of Arabic-speaking neighbors, including three uncles and some cousins. "It felt good to be among people from our culture," she said.

Her school years were tough. "I cried on the first day of kindergarten," she remembered. "People weren't mean, I just couldn't understand them. I was scared and out of place. I spent afternoons at English-speaking neighbors' homes and after-school programs to learn the language.

"Dad wanted us to fit in but he wanted us to hold onto our own language, values and heritage," she added. "Children learn language quickly--a lot quicker than their parents--so I became my father's translator. I spoke English outside the house and Arabic inside. I went back and forth between two worlds."

Now Obeidallah is teaching Arabic to her English-speaking children, and her Clifton home reveals how the two cultures commingle. Passages from the Koran in gold foil Arabic calligraphy hang on every wall in her living room and her son has PlayStation 2. They installed a satellite dish so they can watch television programs in their native Arabic. The girls watch "SpongeBob SquarePants" on Nickelodeon, while Obeidallah enjoys the older American cartoons translated into Arabic, especially "The Smurfs," "Tom and Jerry" and "Woody Woodpecker."

"I'm happy being a wife and mother, but after my children went to school something was missing in my life," said Obeidallah, as she excused herself to help Maha spell a word on a picture she was drawing in markers at her mother's feet. "In high school I had goals and dreams, and I couldn't even remember what they were. I felt I wasn't contributing to society. My husband is a religious man, and a big part of our faith is to pursue knowledge. So he encouraged me to get a college education."

Obeidallah started out at Passaic County Community College because she felt more comfortable returning to the classroom at a small school. But she always wanted to go to Montclair State. "I fell in love with the campus during an open house in high school," she said. "So I went right into summer session here after earning an associate's degree. I kept planning to take a semester or a summer off but I never did. I was afraid that if I stopped I would never come back."

Fascinated by language since she was a child, Obeidallah plans to teach English as a second language, and Alice Freed of Linguistics is someone she described as everything she ever wants to be as a teacher. She never expressed that sentiment to Freed, and she wondered whether Freed remembered her.

"Of course I know Dua," Freed said. "I'm flabbergasted that she felt that way. I'm aware when I influence students who work with me, but to have touched someone unexpectedly is really a gift. It makes me feel my work is worthwhile."

The first woman in her family to earn a college degree, Obeidallah thanks Montclair State for giving her the freedom to hold onto her beliefs. "I grew up in a sheltered community and we were not exposed to a lot of different viewpoints," she said. "I became impressed as to how many there are and how students are free to express them here."

After 9-11 Obeidallah got herself a cell phone because she became afraid after hearing about bad experiences from other Muslim-Americans. She continued to wear the hijab even though other Muslim women removed it or replaced it with a hat. "I couldn't do that," she said. "God has told women to cover ourselves so people will judge us for what is on the inside, not the outside."

It was Obeidallah's decision to wear the veil around her head after she got married. Her daughters, however, don't wear it because she says it is their choice. She doesn't believe any women should be forced to wear it.

"We all have fears to overcome," she said. "We're here for a reason. There is something in us all that we can use to better ourselves. We must use the gifts we are given to better society, or at least ourselves. Not all our dreams will be realized but all our endeavors must be completed."

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