Dr. Eva Goldfarb: How to talk to kids about sex
Posted in: College News and Events, Master of Public Health News, Public Health
Dr. Eva Goldfarb, Professor in the Public Health Department, recently talked with USA Today about how to talk to kids about sex. Dr. Goldfarb stated,
“Knowing the names of body parts is so important. Young children who can name their body parts appropriately are much less likely to be sexually abused. Giving them precise language early on takes the mystery out of understanding their bodies, which gives them ownership of their bodies from a very early age.” She added that a discussion about consent is important.
Additionally, while our experts say that discussions should start far earlier than age 7, if you haven’t started talking about sex with your children, now is the time to remove the taboo.
This is when your kids are going to have lots of questions. Dr. Goldfarb says that, whether they are coming to you or not to ask these questions, depends on if you establish a relationship of trust and openness, or if you establish one of secrecy and taboo. One thing is for certain, however, they will look for answers.
“If they aren’t coming to you, they are going to find their answers someplace else. … Do you want them to get their information from you, or from classmates and Google?” asks Dr. Goldfarb.
“These topics are not taboo to kids, they are taboo to parents. If we choose to avoid and remain silent about these subjects, we are abdicating our ability to assist our children in the understanding of these subjects,” says Dr. Goldfarb.
Dr. Goldfarb also says parents should revise their expectations of children. Oftentimes a child will say, ask, or seek out something inappropriate at this age and older. More often than not, she says, when a child is inappropriate it’s based on misunderstanding.
“You really want to set up a relationship of guidance. If they are asking inappropriate questions, rather than shaming or shutting them down, look at it as an opportunity to let them know that they can come to you for answers and guidance without shame or judgment,” says Dr. Goldfarb.